Do you know what the letter A stands for in the acronym LGBTQIA2+ ? You are about to learn more about asexuality. No, not sexuality, but asexuality.
We talk less about it, but asexual people exist and their reality is totally valid! What is asexuality? Is it OK not to have sexual desire? Explanations.
I turned to Liza, an asexual person in order to collect her testimony and learn more about asexuality.
A few facts about asexuality that I learned from my discussion with Liza:
- An asexual person is someone who feels little or no sexual attraction.
- For several years, Liza kept her sexual orientation a secret, since she thought it was very rare, that there were maybe two or three other people in Quebec who were going through the same thing.
- Yet, she claims that there there are up to 5.5% of asexual people in Quebec.
- Asexual people may or may not have had sexual experiences: they are not waiting for “the right person.
- Asexual people are not “short”.
- When we talk about having little or no need to have romantic connections, we are talking about aromantism. Be careful, it is not a question of “feeling nothing”: an aromantic person can still want to give affection and tenderness.
- A common misconception is that an asexual person will never find love, although emotional attraction and sexual attraction are two separate concepts. An asexual person may experience romantic feelings and may want to start a family.
- A person can be both asexual and aromantic, or they can be aromantic and feel sexual desire.
- Asexual people use the term “ace” to talk about asexuality.
- It often happens that an asexual person is forced to choose between their couple relationship and their own sexuality, fearing to lose their partner.
- It is still difficult for asexual people to be accepted by certain organizations or therapists.
- The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) created by the American Psychiatric Association categorizes sexual interest or desire disorder as a problem unless you choose to adopt the label “asexual.”
- It is almost never explained by therapists that it is normal not to feel sexual attraction!
- Until recently there were conversion therapies, as was the case for gay or bi people who need to “cure” their sexual orientation.
The life of an asexual person
I asked Liza how she self-identifies when it comes to sexual identity. Liza replied that she is queer, but if we go into the details, she is a cisgender, biromantic and demisexual woman.
On a daily basis, the fact of affixing all these labels adds additional stress to him, in addition to putting limits on his sexual identity. And be aware that … more